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Who The Podcast Is For
“Your Parenting Long Game” is for parents who not only want to short-term tips for handling current kids’ behaviors and moods, but who are exhausted from addressing the same situations over and over and want to find solutions that last much longer into the future.
Because Rachel offers specific plans and teaches step-by-step tools, it’s also for parents who crave feeling in control — and who do much better with structure than the chaos normally associated with parenting.
It’s heartbreaking when we recognize that our child doesn’t believe in themselves.
Often when we try to build our kids’ confidence, we try to reassure them that everything is going to be OK; our goal is to make them feel better.
When we teach kids that they can handle hard things, that’s when they start to believe that they can handle hard things.
We know that it’s our job to tell our kids what to do, so it’s incredibly frustrating when we give them directions and they disrespect us, negotiate with us, or melt down when we set a boundary.
And even when we’ve tried all of the tricks in the book, their behavior doesn’t seem to change in the long run.
But instead of focusing on “making them” or “getting them” to change their behavior, we can actually reduce their resistance to begin with… so they have more long-term motivation to do what they’re supposed to do.
We want our kids to act responsible and make healthy choices. Often, when they act irresponsible or disrespectful, we try to “make” them change their behavior by telling them that how awful they’re acting or yelling at them or punishing them… which doesn’t tend to lead to better behavior.
Instead, we can increase our influence AND foster internal motivation when we show them — not just tell them! — that they matter.
While this strategy may not be intuitive, it is not complicated… and it is more likely to lead to long-term positive results.
When we see our kids feeling bad, or when we sense that our relationship isn’t at its strongest, often we attempt to repair things by being “nicer” to our kids. We give in to them more, we do more for them, we buy them things and take them places.
Interestingly, these nice gestures may not lead to the positive results that we hope for… which makes feel resentful and frustrated.
Instead, we can use a very simple long-game simple strategy to improve kids’ moods AND our relationship at a deeper level. This strategy doesn’t take much more time or energy, yet it is more likely to lead to the long-term results you want to see.
It seems that almost every day kids resist us when we ask them to do the things that have to get done — brushing their teeth, getting dressed, eating meals, doing homework, getting ready for bed.
And often the daily resistance leads to a negativity in our homes and in our relationships.
But you can teach kids and teens to do the “boring” everyday tasks in a way that actually strengthens our relationship AND their resilience. Learn the “long game” strategy for teaching kids how to do the tasks they don’t feel like doing.
Asking kids to get off of their devices almost always leads to resistance, negotiations, or meltdowns.
And even though we may impose consequences, the same negativity is likely to occur the next time we ask.
Fortunately, asking our kids to get off of their device doesn’t always have to turn into a power struggle. It is possible to make this situation go more smoothly with a long-game tool for helping kids make the transition from doing something they’re enjoying… to doing something else.
Sometimes we have days where we are dealing with so much from our kids that we just don’t like them.
In those situations, we usually try whatever we can think of to get them to change. But they don’t, and then we become even more frustrated and resentful.
Fortunately, there is another other simple shift that we can make that alleviates so many of those negative feelings towards our kids. Even better, this “long-game” strategy is more likely to motivate your children to make changes on their own, without you having to force them.
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